Rules for Writers ch. 3

     In chapter three Diana is sounding a little bit repetitive but there is a reason for this. I also repeat myself every time I respond to Rules for Writers by Diana Hacker. I always say an essay should be focused and clear in order to stimulate thought in the reader. Chapter three is all about revising your essay. When looking over your first draft you want to keep certain things in mind and make notations.
     By the end of reading your essay you want to persuade your reader by being focused and you want to have good supporting material and good transitions between paragraphs. A good way to persuade your reader in any way is to treat them as if they have no idea about your topic and you must make them an expert on it. Use citations as well with a MLA format citation page to one hundred percent legitimize your argument or side.
    Another very important way to make your essay more focused is to eliminate and remove any writing that is distracting from the main point or idea and maybe some writing is obviously of topic then remove it immediately. Sometimes a paragraph can be too long and if thats the case you can shorten your sentences by being to the point with no complications. I over complicate sometimes because I might be trying to sound more sophisticated or use big words but this isn't always the best way to go about things. Simple and focused with a clear thesis statement is much better. I plan on paying more attention to my own revisions. By that I mean most of the time I get a second set of eyes to read and make notes on my essays about possible improvements. Then I go about revising it and totally focus on my peers revision and push my ideas to the side and forget about them and this makes my focus slowly start to drift away from my original ideas.

Coming Home Again

     The importance of food in this essay was very clear in a few different ways. First of all the opening sentence  "When my mother began using the electronic pump to feed her liquids" (pg 11) hit me pretty hard because at that point in his mothers life she was being fed a mostly liquid diet because she had no appetite. She had swapped out a colorful, spicy diet for a lifeless machine that pumps liquids and medication in her.
     Food and cooking in many cultures is a bonding experience between families and they had a bond in the kitchen since he was a little boy and she used to take care of him but now the rolls switched and he was in a way taking care of her now. What I got from it is that change is inevitable and roles change as well. Him going to college leaving his mom her life force leaving her because she mentioned how he was her life therefor dissolving that culinary bond. I felt as if the kitchen or the sharing of cooking represented their relationship.  

Rules for Writers ch. 2

     In rules for writers chapter two Diana Hacker explains how to use all your information you collected (chapter 1) and apply it to a first draft. First create an outline to help organize your information or ideas. Once you have your outline you can start drafting and a good way to do that is to come up with a focused thesis and create your body paragraphs from that and come back to do your introduction and conclusion after. You might want to change your thesis slightly after you do this.
     When writing a a essay or paper I use these steps to help create a focused and clear essay but I don't exactly agree with everything. Diana was implying that the thesis is best when included in the introduction but i disagree. In the past I have given hints of my thesis in the introduction but I don't clearly state it until the conclusion. It just feels right to me to write this way. I believe it helps the reader become more involved and brings them possibly a new realization. I don't feel as if I'm wasting the readers time by stating my thesis at the end. It seems like high school writing to force my thesis on the reader in the introduction but what feels right isn't always correct. Maybe I need to try what feels wrong.

The Ways We Lie

     The lie that caught my attention the most was ignoring the facts. The example that Stephanie used was a perfect one but tragic and twisted. Is it possible that a church was dishonest? Well according to her definition yes. I believe that all the ways of lying she described are all common but ignoring the facts is probably the most common. Everyone does this and I don't care if you say you don't lie but everyone ignores the facts.
     It was also very interesting to me because I learned something new. I had never really made a connection between lying and ignoring the facts but Stephanie bridged the gap. People ignore facts of their own lives all the time so they are lying to themselves more than anything and thats why I think its the most common form of lying because there are so many people doing this every day. Maybe they think by ignoring it that things will work themselves out. Some could call this skeletons in the closet or fear of shame but now I see its flat out lying.

-B

Essay #1 Rough Draft

Opium

            This picture was taken in Washington Square Park in San Francisco. It was almost dusk and the air was cool and fresh. This image has a great significance to me it was a turning point in my life. Just one night changed my outlook on today’s world. When you look at this picture you probably don’t see much or you might see a lot but regardless of what you see it reminds me of a story. When I close my eyes and concentrate I can re-live that night like it was yesterday the sights, smells, and sounds are still vivid in my mind.

We drove down in my sisters Ford Explorer with my sister, brother, brother-in-law, and niece and we were planing on meeting friends down there. We booked two rooms at the downtown Hyatt Hotel off Market St. near the Embarcadero district. But before we headed to the hotel we had to drop off Isabella (my niece) at her grandmothers.

            The show we were attending was on 6^th street at Club 6. Before the show we had to check in at the Hyatt. This place was elaborately elegant. It had massive ceilings with layered balconies inside and out with white Christmas lights cascading from the top balcony. The lobby was sparkling clean and had a fresh smell and feel. Not to mention the staff was top notch meeting all of our needs with a smile. When we got to our rooms we were blown away. We had plasma flat screen television, pillow top queen beds, and marble floors. Best of all we had a view overlooking the bay from our balcony and every once in a while a refreshing cool ocean breeze would blow across the building. Where we were headed was somewhat the opposite.

Club 6 located in the heart of grime city a.k.a. 6^th and Market. In order to get there we had to walk down a block of 6^th and let me tell you the ground and air was littered with the sight and smell of garbage, feces, urine, and eccentric shouting and mumbling. I felt sad for all the street people scattered down the block but at the same time wanted to get to the destination as fast a possible with the least contact as possible. Once we arrived we got right in with no problems. It was a small hole in the wall club that smelled like perfume, sweat, and beer. There were two performers before Opium, they did their thing then left the stage as if they were scared of someone. Op (nickname for Opium) got up there and killed it. He had a fog machine, professional dj, and an entourage which made his performance very effective at capturing the audience’s attention. So two ringing ears and six beers later it was time to head back to the hotel for the mini after party.

We had about five city blocks to walk. It was about 1:30 in the A.M. at this point. The corona was running through me pretty quickly and I had to find a bathroom fast before my bladder popped. Our group was rolling twelve heads deep taking up the whole sidewalk. Just a couple blocks away from the Hyatt and we passed a homeless couple sitting on the ground in front of a seven eleven. The man on the ground said “you want some of my sausage?” and in unison we said “what!” and that’s all it took we gave him some attention. He started to follow us down the street asking if we wanted some of his nasty looking half eaten sausage with relish and mustard on it. This didn’t sit to well with the crew. It got to the point where he was in our face trying to push his food on us. He didn’t know what he was getting into. Enrique (my brother in law) slapped the food out of his hand and things got serious, he wanted to knock dudes head off because he was raised in  the city and doesn’t take back talk from no one. At this point a couple of us got between them so he didn’t kill this dude because he’s an ex-boxer with the golden gloves. Right as we dispersed the SFPD pulled up and “said keep it moving and head home now” so we did we just wanted to get back as soon as possible. Finally we made it back to the telly and I collapsed onto a bed.

Now back in the room I was relieved somewhat. It was now 2:27 A.M. The rest of the night was a blur of hops, noise complaint calls from the front desk, and drug encrusted faces. Would I do it again? For sure. What did I learn? Sometimes the journey is the destination.

Rules for Writers ch.1 Summary

     Chapter one covers every basic aspect on how to prepare to write a paper. First you want to come up with a subject or maybe you were given one. After you have your subject you want to gather multiple sources or maybe your writing from personal experiences.  A refining of your subject or a "subdividing of your subject" (pg 5) might be necessary in order to reach a specific audience. Diana Hacker also explains the different ways an instructor looks at your paper as a judge or as a student.
     There are multiple ways to gather information. You can ask questions and discuss your subject, or you can take notes (highlight, annotate), or you can free write and create a cluster diagram. Next you want to come up with a thesis. You want your thesis to be tentative and propose an argument or chose a side then use the body and conclusion to back it up.
     I would tell you how I would use this information to my advantage but I already do. I usually gather as many sources as possible or as many that were assigned. I also love writing from my own experiences as well because its really easy when you know every little detail. When writing about personal experiences i found that free writing helps a lot by getting your own ideas and thoughts down on paper to develop your own voice or fingerprint. Coming up with a solid thesis can be challenging but I usually brainstorm a while before I zero in on one. The past couple papers I wrote I found it easier to put my thesis near the end.

The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me

     How could it be dangerous to be smart? Well lets see a lot of people are afraid of change. Intelligence and change go hand in hand and there are basically two types of smart, book smart and street smart. Either way you are dangerous to someone or something.

     The general public in most cases is attracted to smart people and listens to them and follows them. The control over the free public scares the government and to them is very dangerous but in other cases having different color skin and being smart scares the public and is dangerous in their eyes. The government likes to be in control and when they feel like their losing it they feel as if they are in danger. 

     What I consider street smart is a normal person with a conscience and common sense. Consider book smart  being able to pick up a textbook and teach yourself that subject with no help. When you posses both of these like our President you become dangerous in the eyes of the public and government plus he has different color skin. The combination of all this really divides this country into two groups smart people and ignorant people. Being too smart for your own good can divide nations.